Stupid Money!

God, why when I feel my life is going spectacularly well does something have to come along and completely screw me over? It's not like I wasn't stressed enough. My family is going through hell right now and you've got to throw more financial crap at me. Thank you! I truly appreciate it!

It's not like I can't handle it. I've already proven I can handle it. But I'm sick of having to handle it. I'm tired of being worried all the time about how everything is going to work out. All I want is to be stress free. I don't even care if it's only for like a week. I would love to not worry for a week, it would be a fantastic vacation.

I just don't know what to do. I had all the financial aid stuff planned out. It was going to work perfectly and then the stupid thing said I can't do what I planned to do. I just got a job and I'm finally getting money to pay for my enormous college bill. So what do you do? You make the bill bigger. I don't see why that was such a good plan. I was actually hoping for a smaller bill.

I know life isn't supposed to be easy and I don't deserve any breaks but I'm tired. God, you need to know that I love you and I'm going to try my hardest to stay on your path, but you've got to know, eventually I'm going to give up. If it just keeps getting more difficult I won't be able to handle it. I'm going to die from being so stressed all the time. And I put on this strong face so no one will ever know.

Everyone thinks I handle everything so well. Truth is, I just store it away till I'm alone and then I freak out. Like right now for instance. I'm completely and totally freaking out. I have less than a week to work all this crap out. Please let it work out. God, if I'm meant to be here it's gotta work out. I love it here and if it doesn't work out I'm going to be pissed. So do what you can for me. I would greatly appreciate it.

Your loving though rarely faithful friend,

Traci